l am a Registered Nurse by profession. To maintain my Nursing license I have to renew it every year before December 01 of each year. As part of renewal includes completion of jurisprudence test. With my hectic I didn’t complete this test on time. By the time I completed the test submission deadline was done. This meant my registration was terminated on December 31,2018.
When I lost the license I visited the licensing office, they explained to me that I had to complete criminal check and child registry check plus multiple other checks before I could apply for a reinstatement. I was horrified. As the realization set in that I couldn’t “legally” give the medication and not consider it late, a sinking panicky feeling arose in my gut. I began to rationalize in my head all the reasons why this happened. So the reasoning went in my head as I tried to justify why I hadn’t renewed my RN license on time. I was angry at myself because it meant paying a few more hundred dollars that could have gone to good cause, it meant a few weeks without work as a Registered Nurse. It meant that signing R.N. after my name when I am not licensed is was fraud and material misrepresentation It a day and weeks of regret and shame, it was very painful and I said lots of “should have done”. I felt shame because I had explain to my employer about my situation. I felt shame because I had failed to comply with nursing standards that I had strongly upheld for others.
I am very sure that you and I behaved in a way that has negatively impacted you, a situation, or the people you love. You can’t let go of the guilt, shame, regrets and self loathing for what you did. You believe you must be a bad person. You’re feeling stuck, undeserving of love and happiness, and downright fraudulent, those are the feelings I felt that day. .
In this situation and many other situations where I have felt similar feelings I have learnt that the key element to stress with regret is that you are looking back upon a past event and reflecting upon it. The feeling of regret is not positive, and it comes from strongly wanting to change your actions, your behaviors, your reactions, etc. In the present you are thinking back to a past event, and expressing your regret which may make you feel apologetic, sad, or shameful. Regrets can be a good thing to a certain extent–when it evokes productive guilt and teaches us something we can carry forward. But, when it keeps us up at night, causes shame and anxiety, it’s no longer productive.
Overcoming regrets is very important if you are going to love a meaningful life. There is no way you can avoid occasional mistakes which sometimes leads to regrets.
As a matter of fact, regrets are not altogether bad things. It is the regrets that motivate you to strive for better and make your life worthwhile to live provided you have a positive attitude towards it. It all depends on your presumptions of regrets that determine how they affect you, positively or negatively. To overcome regrets, you need to learn the lessons from regrets to enable yourself to make better choices in the future and move forward in life. Here are some of the ways that may help you to overcome regrets in order to lead a happy life:
Acceptance is the ability to unconditionally value all parts of who you are. That means you acknowledge all of yourself–the good and the things that need improvement. For most of us, self-acceptance can be hard. We tend to be critical of ourselves, but there are a number of ways to learn to accept yourself and your life. It all begins with your state of mind.
2.RECOGNIZE AND ACCEPT THE REGRET
Regrets can change you as a person over time, for better and this is what makes life valuable provided you recognize and accept the regrets in order to learn the lessons it has to offer and apply in your life. Always keep in mind that everyone does what they think is the right thing to do in any given situation, but if something goes wrong, only then people realize their action as a mistake. Mistakes in life often occur inadvertently and so there is no need to punish your-self by being sad, depressed, frustrated, and gets indulged in self-pity. That is why you should recognize the real cause of regrets, accept it, forgive yourself, and pick up the lesson in order to move forward confidently.
3.Own your outcomes.
Work toward owning every part of your realities–not just the things that need work but also your strengths and successes. Owning all your outcomes can help teach you to do better next time, to see failure as a learning moment.
4. Recognize that everyone has some regrets in life – and see how they handle them.
You are not alone. Look at how the people you know handle their regrets. Of those, who would you like to emulate? Uncle Biff who’s never ever gotten over that missed baseball in Little League – or Aunt Buffy who made and lost a million bucks and laughed her way through the process of making her subsequent million? Look for inspiration in celebrities, too. Growing up, Mel Brooks studied drums with the drumming legend Buddy Rich. Rich thought young Mel was a prodigy and was grooming him to follow in his footsteps. When Mel heard the siren song of comedy writing, Rich warned him he was making the mistake of his life giving up a promising career in music to mess around telling a bunch of stupid jokes. Brooks says that although Rich never forgave him, he never regretted the path he took.
5. Practice Self Forgiveness.
If you are reading this blog, there is a good chance you are not a horrific human being. You obviously care about your own healing and about the people you love that you probably have caused pain due to your action, which you now regret about. Whatever has happened you, it is time to show kindness and compassion to yourself, to those that have been hurt, to forgive yourself and let go.
In the Movie “Frozen,” Elsa, the older sister, sings these words: “Let it go, let it go … And I’ll rise like the break of dawn … ”
Let it go.
Those are words I sensed God speaking to me as I walked to Winnipeg Police Headquarters to get a criminal check and Manitoba Child Registry that cold day, I could hear God’s soft voice telling me that it was ok, to let go the regrets of losing my RN license.
“Let go of the past that you cannot undo.”
“Let go of the warped view you have of yourself. It doesn’t match the one I have as your Heavenly Father.”
“Let go of the hurts that hold you too tightly.”
Today, I am very grateful to say I have been reinstated my RN license, this I am very thankful!
Maybe you’ve sensed God asking you to let something — or someone — go.
So next time you find yourself regretting something you did, try to face up to instead of pretending it didn’t happen and be compassionate with yourself. You might just be able to get over it.