Do you like who you are? Do you like who you’ve become?
When I ask people these questions, the first response out of their mouths is generally, “Yes.” But when I ask them what specific aspects of themselves they like, I can see their expressions change. This is where it gets trickier, where the impact of the question sets in, where the deer-in-the-headlights reaction switches on.
When you start realizing that people are NOT scrutinizing and judging your every word and deed, you’ll automatically feel less nervous socially. But that still leaves the way you feel about yourself. All too often, we’re our own worst critics. We’re hard on ourselves in a way we’d never be to strangers—let alone the people we care about.
We all have things that we don’t like about ourselves. Do these sound familiar?
“My legs are too thin.”
“I hate my stomach.”
“I don’t like my laugh.”
“I wish I was more outgoing.”
“I would love to be taller.”
In many cultures, we often think that we have to look a certain way, go to a certain university, or perform socially in some specific way to be loveable and worthy, but this is simply not true. Our true self emerges one way or another so we might as well start embracing it today. Learn how to create a sweet relationship with yourself for good:
Be less self-conscious and more self-appreciative
Give yourself the chance to become the best version of you. Get there by bringing out what is positive about you; by showing the world your skills, talents, and knowledge.
If you put yourself down, nagging, and bullying yourself for what you can’t do or you’re not, life is not only hard and miserable but also feels incredibly long.
Isn’t that ironic? Most people complaining how short life is; And for you, life to feel too long and painful? No one is perfect; life is not perfect, but it can be beautiful and filled with joy and happy feelings.
Avoid getting lost in vague fears.
When fears feel vague in your mind, when you lack clarity then it is very easy to get lost in exaggerated worries and disaster scenarios.
So find clarity in a worry-inducing situation by asking yourself:
Honestly and realistically, what is the worst that could happen?
When I have answered that question then I follow it up with spending a bit of time on figuring out what I can do about it if that pretty unlikely thing happens.
In my experience, the worst that could realistically happens is usually not as scary as what my mind could make up when it is running wild with vague fears.
Practice Positive Self Talk
The more you work on improving your self-talk, the easier you’ll find it. It’s kind of like practising an instrument or going to sports training: it won’t be easy to start with, but you’ll get better with time.
It might not seem like much, but self-talk is a huge part of our self-esteem and confidence. By working on replacing negative self-talk with more positive self-talk, you’re more likely to feel in control of stuff that’s going on in your life and to achieve your goals.
Realize that you are a special individual.
Because we live in an age of many marvelous scientific inventions, we may tend to think that man is not so important. But the most wonderful thing in the world is not a spaceship or some new electronic device. The most wonderful thing in the world is a human being. David said,
“I will praise You; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14
The important thing about us is not what we look like. The important thing is that we have the potential for becoming a member of God’s family and being transformed into the image of Christ Himself. This is what makes every person of such great value in God’s sight.
I am somebody. I am me. I like being me. And I need nobody to make me somebody. – Louis L’Amour
The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself. – Mark Twain
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