Even when the dark comes crashing through, and when you need a friend to carry you, when you’re broken on the ground you will be found – Dear Evan Hansen.

One day, everything in life is going very well.

Then……

Spouse cheats. 

Fall out of love and get divorced. 

Lose your job.

Crash your car. 

Child gets hurt on the playground.

And your world comes crashing down.

Life is hard. It can be overwhelming when nothing goes according to plan. When, in fact, everything is falling apart. At this time fear for our future creeps in and and without knowing a cringe attacks our mind. We look for answers, comfort, security, hope, stability, and peace. We want to fully recover, fast. Sometimes our world comes crashing down on us. I have learned many lessons from tragic events in my life as I struggled to get my life back after my spinal cord injury. As I reflect on what helped me to rebound from a crisis, I learned much about the resilient spirit.

Here are some thoughts to help you as you face situations in life that makes you feel like your world is crashing  down.

1.  De-stress yourself

The first step is to get some immediate relief and de-stress yourself.  Take some deep breaths, go for a quick walk, get in some exercises – there are a lot of things you can do to give yourself some breathing room.  Here’s a useful article on 5 ways to calm down.

2. Try not to panic. People in crisis can be made a lot worse if people start reacting with fear, control and anger. Study after study has shown that if you react to someone in crisis with caring, openness, patience, and a relaxed and unhurried attitude, it can really help settle things down. Keep breathing, take time to do things that help you stay in your body like yoga and taking walks, be sure to eat, drink water, and try to get sleep.

3.Surround yourself with positive, loving people.It may sound crazy but the people you surround yourself with can have a huge impact on how you handle situations, how you feel about yourself, and how you live your day-to-day life. If you’re surrounded by negative nancies, you’ll find that you probably lean towards the pessimistic side as well. Find friends, family, co-workers, anyone that radiates positivity and it will surely make you feel better in the short term.

I want you to know that no matter what religion or faith or denomination we are, no matter if it is pagan or Christian or Hindu or even atheist or “none,” the true purpose of life is to know that crap happens.
Our experiences, our feelings, our pain may be ours alone, but that doesn’t mean we cannot find the support we need.If there is one thing I hope we learn in this life it is that there aren’t always answers, good or bad. Job’s friends tried so hard to convince him that he must have done something very bad to be receiving such “punishment.” But, Job is right: what happened was not a punishment.

We are not punished in our lives by some outside force. Life is what it is. Good people get cancer and there are noreasons. Inspirational people die and we are left without the answers we so desperately want. Good things happen to people that never seem to be nice and we scratch our heads in disbelief. Life is life. We may never get the answers we want. Learning to be okay with that is hard. But we don’t have to sit in the ashes alone.