When Things Fall Apart

49DD319A-D2EF-4D00-ADFE-DEC6D6F1E5B2: Heartfelt Advice for Hard Times. Just a few pages into the book, Pema Chödrön had me hooked with the following:

“We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”

When I read these words, I felt at peace because I have gone through a lot lately, with lots of my house appliances breaking down. At the beginning when my sump pump flooded the basement I was angry but I cleaned it without much fuss, but it was when sewer back up, when the furnace broke and the water heater tank shut down that my inner peace got tested.All this happened in a span of 2 months. It cost us lots and we complained a lot.  But one evening when all inside was screaming I felt peace beckoning me as I looked through the window when a storm was pushing an evergreen tree but the tree kept on pushing back. I knew that I had to do the same. I knew that I could find my way back if all I see in the chaos is the negatives. I had to let it fall apart in order to regain my place. 


Sometimes these little glimmering moments of balance and joy are enough to convince us that we have the ability and wherewithal to stay in the phases of life in which things only come together and then remain perfectly balanced. We begin to grasp desperately at whatever has brought us joy while simultaneously worrying about what will happen when it’s gone. And just like that, these shiny spaces where things come together are lost.I am stronger now because I allow for things to fall apart, I feel more blessed and hopeful.

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