Human beings are instinctively social animals. It is natural for us to feel alone or lonely when we are isolated from others. As a tribal species, our brains adapted to rely on social connections as a means to survive.
Off days. We all have them from time to time.
Maybe you didn’t sleep well the night before, or perhaps you’re working on a project that isn’t particularly exciting. Or maybe there’s no viable explanation at all, and you’re just straight up not feelin’ it that day.
First of all, that’s OK. We can’t be on all the time. Motivation is an ebb and flow: We all have periods of high energy where productivity comes easily, as well as periods of low energy where your work doesn’t come so easily.
Maybe it’s not darkness, maybe it’s that life is hard and we all struggle with mistakes, & are so overwhelmed at times we can’t breathe, maybe don’t be so hard on yourself for being human.
In dark times, most people make their problems their defining property. It’s all they think about, talk about and feel. They bring it up in conversations all the time and try their best to convince other people to believe and accept that they are going through a great tragedy which has rendered them helpless.
In my dark times I have learnt a few important lessons, which I want to share with you:
1. Realize your power to change the world around you.
Making that difference begins with standing in your power, stepping up and choosing to share more of yourself and your goodness so that more people hear your message.This requires of you believing that you have that power to do something. Believing that dark times do not own you, you own your own destiny.
2. Make the darkness your motivation to do good.
I liken dark times in the world to the night sky, when you in dark times you can’t see the stars, how brightly they shine and the immense number of them until the sky is at its darkest. All the the dark times move us ways from our alignments with our values, it creates backdrop of blackness. They’re the darkness in the night sky.
Like stars in the darkness we can use this moments to shine more brilliantly, commit ourselves to living more consciously and spreading our light in spite of whatever fears we may have around that.
3.Change what you are looking at
You see… motivation is a force, a forward motion to getting things done. But motivation isn’t the source of the motion as we might think. Motivation is the middle layer between the source and the desired action, emotionally speaking. The source is your desire. Whether it be your passion, or your need. Stop looking at the tasks, stop looking at your progress or lack of progress, stop looking at whether you feel ‘motivated’ or not! Literally stop yourself in your own tracks. This isn’t a metaphor or an ‘idea’ to stop. I literally mean stop moving, stop what you are thinking about and change your focus to why you want to…
You’ve been betrayed by people you trusted and it has shaken you to the core. Time and time again you’ve opened yourself to the risk of trusting, only to be disappointed repeatedly. You’re hurt and bruised; mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and maybe even physically. You question if trust is worth it.
Trust pervades nearly every aspect of our daily lives. It is fundamentally important in the healthy functioning of all of our relationships with others. It is even tied to our wealth: in a Scientific American article, Dr. Paul J Zak, a neuroeconomist at Claremont Graduate University, discovered that trust is among the strongest known predictors of a country’s wealth – nations with low levels tend to be poor. According to Dr. Zak, societies with low levels of trust are poor because the inhabitants undertake too few of the long-term investments that create jobs and raise incomes.
Trust is power. It’s the power to inspire and influence. It’s the glue that bonds us to each other, that strengthens relationships and turns threads of connections into steel cables. Like four-year olds trusting that there will be a second marshmallow, can your people trust that your word is your bond?
For the last 14 years I have been working with First Nations of Canada holding positions in Middle Management, serving and working with National, Regional an Community leadership. My experience with the First Nations here in Manitoba, Canada holds some valuable lessons on how to get and maintain trust.
1. Become Trustworthy. Creator created us a His beings to seek out trust- worthy people. But the first step is to become trustworthy ourselves, and if one invest in becoming a person others can trust people whom you can trust will be attracted to you.
2. Keep Your Promises. Keep small because others will weigh your reliability on the big things from how you handle the little ones, even if they are not consciously aware of it.
3. Keep Promises to Yourself.Keeping promises to yourself is closely correlated with willpower and self-control, and these virtues are essential to being trustworthy — especially when the chips are down. Remember, willpower is like any other muscle.
4. Under Commit and Over Deliver. Make sure that you only make promises that you know you can keep. We overcommit because we want people to love and respect us, yet the quickest way to lose love and respect is to fail to keep our promises.
You don’t have to be perfect for the person that loves you. They wouldn’t even like you perfect. Your flaws make you unique. And give them the space and permission to be just as human.
People are largely mistaken on what true love really is. They think it’s a feeling. It’s not. They think it’s butterflies and obsessively thinking about that person all day long. Wrong. That’s infatuation. It’s fun, but it’s not love.
Love is pain. And sacrifice, but it’s also the most beautiful thing in the world when it’s real and reciprocated.
Imagine someone knowing all about you. Everything. Even the small things. The things you are embarrassed about and don’t want anyone to know. Imagine messing up, and even letting that person down. They forgive you. They are wise enough to read between the lines of the situation, and they don’t judge you for it. They love you.
I love you” means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. “I love you” means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me.
“I love you” means when I cant form the right words but my heart is in the right place this is how much i love you and show you all these things.
“I love you” means not looking for something better or seeing what’s out there. It means committing to that person because you know they complete you in every way. It doesn’t mean being a replica of another person, but rather being like a puzzle piece that fits perfectly with the other.t means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with.Love is that roller coaster or thrill ride that we board with innocents, excitement, and trepidation. It’s a risky endeavor.