Our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive and express what we really are.
We have learned to live by other people’s point of view because of the fear of not being accepted and satisfy other people’s demands, being good enough!
We weren’t born to just pay bills and die. Better start making memories and enjoy your life.❤️
Don’t let anyone walk away
from you, without taking a
trace of kindness or a sign
of peace of your life!!!
The saddest thing is, when you are feeling real down and realize that there is no shoulder for you. People don’t always need an advice. Sometimes all they really need is a hand to hold and a heart to understand them. Be a true friend and see the pain in their eyes. Just support!
“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”
John 10:10 ~ Abundant life is loving and serving others. That is where true joy can be found. Try it! 😊❤️✝️
and once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. you won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. but one thing is certain.when you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in
Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you.
Kindness is as simple as being grateful for the love anyone has shown you… by not destroying them just because it isn’t on your terms.
“All children, except one, grow up.”
It’s the opening line to Peter and Wendy, the classic Peter Pan novel in which much of the lore and history surrounding Peter Pan comes from. Except the storyline feels far too commonplace in my own life. I feel like a 12-year-old trapped in an adult’s body. Somehow I’ve faked my way through life and while my body’s grown, who I am, where I want to be, what I want to do with my life eludes me. Every step I take towards a goal feels like Peter fighting off the adult pirates of real life who’ve seemed to stack the cards against me.
Here’s the most frustrating part about reaching your goals: even when you reach them, you’ll end up not where you want to be in life and wondering if there’s more.
No one has made this more apparent than New England Patriots’s quarterback, Tom Brady. In an interview with 60-minutes, he stated:
”…there’s times where I’m not the person that I want to be. Why do I have three Super Bowl rings, and still think there’s something greater out there for me? I mean, maybe a lot of people would say, “Hey man, this is what is.” I reached my goal, my dream, my life. Me, I think: God, it’s gotta be more than this. I mean this can’t be what it’s all cracked up to be. I mean I’ve done it. I’m 27. And what else is there for me?”
Most people would kill to have Tom Brady’s life and yet when he’s “arrived” he ends up discontent with where he is in life. In the biblical narrative of Ecclesiastes, King Solomon is reported to be a man with absurd wealth, 700 wives, and knowledge beyond comprehension, yet concludes it’s all vexing, vanity, and even isn’t where he wants to be in life.
We all feel like Peter Pan, constantly stuck, never growing up, and in a constant battle to reach the next tier of life wondering when we’ll finally make it.p
Consider the story line from the epic fantasy novel and movie Lord of the Rings for a moment. A young Hobbit named Frodo Baggins discovers a ring of power built to enslave mankind by the dark lord, Sauron. He embarks on a journey along with humans, elves, dwarves, and a wizard to destroy it and battle the forces of darkness. Along the way he succumbs more and more to the evil power of the ring — and that’s where the story ends! If you know the books or movie, you know this is hardly the case, but imagine if that were the story’s ending?
Far too often we forget that our own journey is still being written and playing out. We end up depressed where we’re at in life because we feel like we haven’t arrived, but even when we get there, we realize there’s another mountain to climb, whether that be more personal growth, a search for meaning, or finding joy and hope in faith or a Creator. It’s important to remember that just like a story has chapters, our own lives have chapters as well.
One reason we’re compelled to keep watching movies and reading books is because the stakes are high. Just when the hero is about to win, tragedy or failure strikes. We, as the viewer, are then forced to know how it’s all going to work out. The tension, failure, and struggle all keep us turning pages. Without these chapters, we couldn’t be convinced of an epic ending or moments of victory because that’s not how real life works.
Regardless of where you are in life, whether having arrived, disappointed, facing down addiction, or battling what can seem like unending tragedy, it’s important to remember these feelings may be part of a bigger story in your life. It’s a chapter, but doesn’t have to be the main theme of your greater story.
Still, it begs the question, “Okay then, how to we find joy in the hard or mundane chapters of life?”
“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” — Ursula K. LeGuin
In one of his books, Dr. Timothy Keller quotes Yale philosopher Nicholas Wolterstorff who observed that:
“…modern culture defines the happy life as a life that is “going well” — full of experiential pleasure — while to the ancients, the happy life meant the life that is lived well, with character, courage, humility, love, and justice.”
It’s an interesting comparison when all around us we believe circumstances dictate happiness. Perhaps this is why many of us feel like we aren’t where we should be in life at the moment. If life is “going well” then we feel content about our circumstances and that we’ve achieved what we need to to be “happy.” However, if we are stuck in the middle of our chapter of life feeling we are not where we belong, a happy life eludes us. And yet, the ancients found a fulfilling life in aspects which define our journey: character, courage, humility, love, and justice. All things that take time and a grueling journey to cultivate.
As a culture now built on speed and efficiency, instant gratification is perhaps the greatest detriment to why we feel blown about in the sea of life. Even when we feel we’ve arrived, we don’t arrive because deep down there’s the nagging sense that the journey isn’t complete. There’s always something more.
What I’m learning is that within the chapters of my life, the tension, hardships, and even the good all play a role in creating a version of myself as God intended. If I can see that the life I’m meant to live (even when I don’t feel I’m where I should be) is building a man who exudes character and courage it shifts my perspective to the long term, as opposed dwelling on where I think I should be by now.
Years ago I was where maybe you are today. I was facing down addiction, alcohol abuse, a divorce, and feelings of inadequacy even though I was doing well in my career. I was taking progressive steps, but stumbling along the way. All I could think about was how I wasn’t where I wanted to be.
Far too often we stand in front of the proverbial mountains of life and think, “Look how far I have to go…”
Instead, maybe today you need to take moments to turn around and look down the mountain and say, “Just look at how far I’ve come and how much I’ve grown.”
Over the years I have learnt a thing or two about working under pressure. I have learnt that when one acts or live under intense pressure one start to create survival environments for themselves. I have seen people who live in survival journey making impulsive judgments, angrily rushing to bring closure to whatever matter is at hand. He or she feeling is compelled to get the problem under control immediately, to extinguish the perceived danger lest it destroy him or her. When one lives in survival journey they are robbed of their flexibility, their sense of humour, their ability to deal with the unknown. They forget the big picture and the goals and values they stand for. They lose their “cool” or feeling at peace, they lose their creativity.
I can’t help but think we’re a lot like that when life presses down on us. When the pressure gets too intense, we start looking for ways to bail out from under the thumb of circumstances that seem too much to handle. And all too often we are tempted to bail in terms of our attitudes, feeling angry, bitter, or even mad at God—or anyone else we can blame our problems on. Or, we are tempted to bail in our actions by refusing to persevere in righteous ways.
In Barlow’s (2001) new experimentally-based book, the crux of anxiety is described as being an anticipation of trouble and feeling unable to control events in one’s life. This suggests that one’s sense of self-control (or Bandura’s self-efficacy) is of vital importance. Note that “normal” people often believe they have more control over events than they really have (an exaggerated sense of mastery to quell our fears?). Many experiments with animals deprived of control have immediately produced agitation and intense tension. Also, psychological experiments studying the much later impact of early experiences, like animals allowed to control their food and water supply vs. animals having plenty to eat and drink but no control, have demonstrated marked and complex influences on the adult animal’s behaviour (less emotionality, fewer fears, less stress hormones, different brain organization, more adventurous exploratory behaviour). An interesting and surprising contrast is that early physical trauma did not produce as much adult emotionality in animals (there is some reason to doubt that this holes true in humans). Apparently, gaining a sense of mastery or learning one is able to handle problems early in life, e.g. in monkeys who get good mothering and social support when young, seems to protect the adult from serious anxiety. So, learn your self-help lessons well.
Although fears are generally based on primitive automatic emotional reactions, more intense panic and specific fears occur when we feel particularly vulnerable–open to being seriously hurt. Some of this vulnerability may be genetic tendencies but much is probably learned, often at an early age. How are these dangers, these “Wow, that scares the hell out of me!” reactions, learned? Sometimes, we see the actual results of a real danger–a heart attack, an auto accident, someone going crazy–and we vividly imagine that might happen to us. Examples: Panic attacks often are exacerbated by the scary thoughts that the tightness in my chest and high anxiety means I’m dying from a heart attack, going to faint, going crazy, etc. Such thoughts greatly 10 increase the panic. Sometimes, we are given specific instructions by others to expect danger, e.g. some social phobics have been told that interacting with others can be disastrous–“they will think you are stupid or weird,” “you can’t trust them,” “you’ll make a fool of yourself,” etc. Sometimes, we have started to think in a certain way (the source may be totally unknown–a TV, movie, book, or just our own fantasy as a child) that implies some situation is dangerous. Examples of this might be: “Oh, what I just said sounded really selfish… dumb… critical… ” which grows into “I’m going to mess up when I talk to them,” “I’m not good at socializing,” “I can’t think of anything to say,” or “I get really uptight and start to sweat when I try to talk to someone.” We can create, in effect, our own dangers, and may be especially prone to do that if we are given certain genes and childhood experiences.
Norman Vincent Peale tells how a young business man asked him to talk with his father, the head of their business. He said. “I’m very worried about Dad. He is so nervous and tense. There are so many pressures and problems in the business and my Dad is giving way under them.”They went into his office and he looked nervous and tense. “Glad to see you Norman. There’s always so much to do.” He commented. Dr Peale encouraged him to relax and talk over his problem of pressure in the business. After a time, Dr Peale said to him, “I don’t suppose you ever read the Scriptures do you?”
“Certainly I do” the man replied. Dr Peale said, “You read them but you don’t practice them.”
“Of course I practice them, I’m a moral man.”
“I wasn’t talking morals and ethics, I was talking about the healing power of God. Have you ever read the 26th chapter of Isaiah, 3rd verse – ‘You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you’?” Peale then went on to explain that the father had not been keeping his mind on God, he’d let it dwell too much on his problems. He urged him to repeat the text three times a day to get it fixed in his mind and heart. Faith in God, more than anything else, helps us to keep things in perspective and cuts our pressures down to size
It boils down to whether or not we want comfort or character. You or I may think that life should be a bed of roses, but if that’s your take on life, you’re in for a big surprise—trouble happens! The issue is not if you will face trials, it’s how you will respond to the inevitable pressure that the problems of life bring. It may be that you face pressure at work. In the face of a seemingly insurmountable project, it’s easy to think, “If I just fudge a little bit I could get this job done faster.” Or, when the problems at home won’t go away, we find ourselves wondering, “Maybe I’ll just leave so I won’t have to deal with this anymore.” The sin of pride causes us to respond to problems with thoughts like, “I don’t deserve this.” And soon our attitudes are in the dumper and God’s work is derailed. In fact, the next time you’re tempted to bail on God and squeeze out from under the trouble, think of Jesus, who “humbled himself and became obedient to death” (Philippians 2:8). He “remained under” great suffering for the purpose of making us better.
As you work your way through your life, don’t suppress your emotions. Instead, experience them fully. I have a friend who recently went through marriage break up. She was so angry about the whole thing. When I called to talk to her she wanted to cry and speak up her feelings without any interruption. I offered her my ears. She talked for over two hours.
“Thank you so much for listening, “ she commented at the end. I suggest that rather than be depressed for weeks or even months, one should express the emotion in a healthy way. If you feel you need to cry or yell out, then do so. After you’ve let the emotion out, you will feel better.
If you’re feeling low, feeling depressed, anxiety,remember it is just temporary. Grow through it. You have family and friends who truly care for you. Tell them about your problems. Keep yourself busy. Take help online. Do meditation. Seek therapy. Seek medical help.
Remember, each event we experience in our life is a learning opportunity. Find the lesson that’s hidden in your current situation so you can move on.Remember that under any situation God Is with you and He is For You. In that situation you are, whether it’s ugly or hard, tap into the Joy of God that is within you because that’s how God Fills you with strength to help you make it through. And you know, the joy of the Lord is your strength today. Hold tight to His joy and you will be held by His strength. Nothing you face today will be bigger than your God and His strength.